A call to prayer

During different times in my adult life I have been able to be very disciplined about having daily quiet time with God.  When I became pregnant, this is one thing that unfortunately started to slide as I needed increasing amounts of sleep and did not want to wake up 15 - 20 minutes early.  Needless to say, I really didn’t have anytime carved out after the babies were born.  (Feed, change, nap, repeat).  At first I was too weary to add another item to my to do list.  

As the girls got a little older and were napping and sleeping for longer stretches I still was not making time for God.  I wasn’t ignoring God, I talk and pray as I go about my day.  However, I longed for that still and quiet awareness of His presence and time to listen to Him.  (Without babies, pets, or my husband clamoring for my attention).  

I felt stuck and couldn’t figure out how to make it work while meeting family needs, the babies feeding schedule, and my need for sleep.  I also wanted it to be a good time of day (give God my best so to speak).  So I started writing prayer requests about this at church on Sundays.  Not too long afterward a friend let me know that God had laid on her heart to pray for me about being able to find quiet time.  How comforting to know that God was speaking to others and calling them to prayer.  (He really cares for us!!)  

Finally about a week before Thanksgiving I got my inspiration, a time I had not even considered as a possibility!  I was thrilled!  My husband had vacation time for Thanksgiving and with the holidays things were off.  Then of course the sermon in church on Sunday was about the importance of prayer!  So, I am trying to diligently begin using this time this week.  (Monday, I had fussy girls and ended up reading them scripture so it wasn’t as peaceful as I imagined).  I know keeping this time as a priority will help me stay focused on my faith and being the wife and mother that God wants me to be.

Not a supermom

I always wanted to be a mom, ever since I was little.  I remember a time when I told my friend I needed to breast feed my doll.  I was known for playing with younger kids and loved babysitting.  As an adult I work with kids.  So what could be so hard about being a mother?  HA! I can say that now.  This is definitely one job with about the steepest learning curve and one you can never fully prepare for.

I had ideas of what motherhood would be and thought I would have a good handle on it due to my myriad of experiences working with children.  Of course I would be able to do it all!!  Two babies, no problem!  When the girls were three weeks old I decided that I should be able to take care of them by myself.  Things were going well (we have content babies!) and I thought I could handle it.  I did.  But, a couple of months later and feeling the stress of being a new mom I had to learn to humble myself and ask for more help.  (I had plenty of offers, the problem was not taking people up on it as much as I should’ve).

I was taught once again that we are supposed to live in community and serve one another (including letting others serve you).  I am not sure how many times in my life God will have to show me this.  I have to fight my tendency to be independent and take care of things all on my own.  I need God and I need other people.  

My idealistic view of motherhood and the mother I would be included a “supermom” type of mentality.  God also used friends to help talk me through my high expectations and learn to cut myself some slack. God gave me these girls and entrusted them to my (our) care.  The great thing is that we don’t have to parent alone.  These are God’s kids and He is holding them in His hands.  Which brings peace for a tough job, especially the days when I am not feeling like I am mothering my best and I long for nap time.  Having the ultimate Father as a co-parent is a true gift!

Budget, Bills, Bank

One of the first things on my to do list the week I did not have to go back to work was "budget, bills, & bank."  (And it was clearly not time management or blogging since I have not posted in well over a month!)  Because I have the option to have my checks stretched over the summer, Sept. would be our first true one income month.

I have always been a saver and am also frugal.  As luck would have it, I married a frugal man!  Having two full time incomes while waiting to have a family allowed us to look at priorities and make decisions.  We even took a financial class and thought about how we could swing extended maternity leave.  We made paying off debt a priority and are debt free aside from our mortgage.  We also saved what we could.  All this took sacrifice, discipline, and delayed gratification.

When it came right down to it, I still panicked.  We were prepared but losing an income is huge.  Though we plan our financial big picture together, my husband gladly lets me take care of the month to month and day to day details.  I have spent a lot of time making sure we stay in the parameters of our budget (though this is much tougher to do with 2 little girls around) and was feeling added pressure of doing so now.

This is really a blessing in disguise.  It's a call to live simpler, to buy and use what we need, to waste less, to be responsible with the resources God has blessed us with.  It's refreshing to not feel as much pressure from a material driven world and satisfying to plan meals that will stretch leftovers for days.

The gift in this is to have to lean in to the peace of God's provision for our lives.  I pray continued openness in my heart to fully trust God in this area.

A life lived abundantly does not come from wealth.

No work tomorrow!!

Every year at this time summer winds down and the rush of fall comes all too soon.  It's 1 a.m. as I type this.  Instead of trying to get a good night sleep before my usual first day back to work teaching, I'm starting a blog.  I don't know who will read this or exactly what I will say but I do know that I've been given a year.

In May I gave birth to our beautiful twin girls which fulfilled a deep longing and lifelong desire of mine to become a mother.  They are the answer to so many prayers of ours and many others who are dear to us.  While we were waiting on God for this amazing journey called parenthood we struggled.  But we ended up coming through it with a stronger marriage, a certainty we were ready to be parents and welcome our children, time to discover ourselves more, and time to plan ahead.

So here I am with 2 babies and amazing husband/father and the wonderful opportunity to take a year leave from teaching.  I do not have to wake up and put my kids in daycare tomorrow (really it's today already).  I'll probably be lounging in my PJs in between feeding, spit up, and diapers and I couldn't be more excited!

I have no idea what's in store this year but, I know there will be many gifts to discover in the time I've been given.  Stay tuned!